is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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