So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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