The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
