Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im holly from the hills drunk
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
