Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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