Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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