mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
