is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
