haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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