I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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