she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
