office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
