We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
