I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
