yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
