Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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