I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i believe in u and ur pee
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
