Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
