So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
