I think im going to throw up on grandma
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
