I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
