Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
