It's Friday. Sex?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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