It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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