We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
