problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
