if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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