it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
