Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
