The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This baby is an asshole
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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