Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
