okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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