she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
