Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
