I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your cock deserves a montage
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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