Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
