In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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