Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
