Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
