He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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