i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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