is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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