She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
