don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
