Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize