I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
