every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
