Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
