NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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