I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
