RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
