Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Houston, we have a squirter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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