Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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