marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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