this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
