What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
